[…] history of anxiety and depression and it’s the worst experience I’ve ever gone through. I was terrified of getting hit with postpartum depression (PPD). Preventing postpartum depression is one of the possible benefits of consuming your […]
Last Updated on September 16, 2022 by Natalie
I experienced my first bout of anxiety and depression when I was around 22.
I was on anti-depressants for about 8 years because I was terrified of a relapse without my security blanket. Shortly after weaning off I did have a relapse but was determined not to go back on medication.
I slowly got better until I was back to normal.
Naturally, I am always conscious of going down another spiral.
When I was trying to get pregnant, my biggest fear about pregnancy was how I would feel emotionally due to all the hormone fluctuations. Depression during pregnancy is known as perinatal depression. I was afraid of experiencing perinatal depression.
It had been about 4 years without experiencing depression or anxiety attacks when I started trying to get pregnant.
Pregnancy was an unknown for me and one where there was a lot of hormone activity.
Although a couple of people who I know with anxiety issues swore that the pregnancy hormones gave them a vacation from their anxiety, I, of course, chose to focus on my one friend who got depressed while pregnant.
How Did I Fare Emotionally During Pregnancy?
Fortunately, my fears were not founded. For anyone with similar fears, for whatever it’s worth: I felt quite leveled while being pregnant despite receiving a devastating cancer diagnosis for my beloved miniature pinscher when I was 6 months pregnant. I had a great pregnancy and I was emotionally stronger than I expected myself to be in my situation.What About Postpartum Depression?
Postpartum depression (PPD) was the monster I feared most. It wasn’t just one friend who was hit with this awesomeness after delivery. While the American Psychology Association says 1 in 7 women gets PPD, unfortunately, baby blues is considered common. Most of the mom’s I know experienced baby blues at least. This includes both of my sisters who have zero history of depression. Surely this didn’t mean good things for me. Because of my incredible desire to save myself from postpartum depression, I didn’t think twice about encapsulating my placenta. I laid out all the benefits and instructions on how to do it yourself in my post. I recommend checking that out if you are at all interested in doing that.How Did I Fare Emotionally Postpartum?
Good news: I did not get postpartum depression. I did experience mild baby blues at times. I noticed that whenever I had an issue with my husband, even if he had said something that I didn’t like, I would absorb it and hold onto the anger for days and these were the times I ended up feeling the baby blues. I had looked up baby blues at the time and saw that relationship troubles could be a contributing factor. Which makes sense. I think that with fluctuating hormone levels, you need everything to be in harmony if you want any chance of keeping it together. Any bit of trouble is overwhelming when you are running on adrenaline, low on sleep and adjusting to the new responsibility of caring for a baby.Did you experience baby blues or perinatal or postpartum depression? Let me know about your experience.
Loved this post! I am a mom of 2 and pregnant with the third. Bipolar diagnosis since 17 years old. Each pregnancy has been similar in that I feel the most hormonally balanced that I feel in my entire life. Resilient, full of energy, no anxiety, brave. When I deliver I have been manic each time and then go into depression and anxiety episodes throughout postpartum. Encapsulated my placenta with the first, possibly it helped but since I did still experience depression, I chose not to encapsulate with the second though I believe in the benefits. Second pregnancy I did have a holistic psychiatrist on the support team for a supplement regimen instead of medication management, and I did fairly well up until 8 months postpartum when I returned to meds for bipolar symptoms of mania. With this pregnancy I am afraid to have psychosis (which I have not experienced in postpartum thus far) or to feel the depression and anxiety afterward. Trying to come up with a good plan for postpartum. Not looking for advice here at all, I appreciated your post and just wanted to give you some of my experience asa bipolar mom (you asked for at the end of your post). Thanks for posting this and giving room for open honest experience-sharing! All the best to you! -Joy http://www.sunshinerainmom.com
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I love that you were able to manage with a holistic psychiatrist. I have never heard of that. I’m curious to know if you felt you fared better after your first or second delivery?